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Pre 25 Thoughts

"Sooner or later, you will be 25. You will get married by 25, with the one you choose", said my grandma.


Honestly, I am afraid everytime I remember about what my grandma said. If you think that I am afraid of getting married, no. I am not afraid of getting married or stuffs. I am just afraid of how time changes so fast like Marc Marquez rides his motorbike. I should not be afraid of it, but it is difficult. Knowing that 3 years from now on, I will be in my 25--25 is seen to be the mature age of a woman. I am not yet prepared enough for this. It is not about not being able to accept the fact that you get older, in fact everyday we get older. However, it is about how much I've prepared for being 25.

I am the only person who really knows about myself, than anyone else, even my parents. I know my strengths, and, of course, understand about my weaknesses. I know how many miles I have to go through. I know exactly how many times I failed in Math and building romance, and I know exactly the things that I have to prepare to face a quarter century of my existence.

One of it is to change my mindset. I am always comforted by my own childlike mindset. In my almost 22, I feel like I still feel the excitement of being close to my mom, and the sadness of being apart for many days with my mom. This should be ended soon, not merely because I will be 25 soon, but also I realize that days are temporary, so does my time with my parents. Everyone will go back to meet the Almighty. 

Then, to be financially independent in 25 is another goal I set when I am approaching 25. Yet, this goal sometimes still stresses me out. I badly want it, but in fact, I need to find a job that makes me finally think that I am finally financially independent. Being independent in terms of finance does not mean I need a great amount of salary that makes me the richest person on planet based on Forbes magazine. Yet, when you think that your salary can afford the things you need (not the things you want) in your life, it is already classified as financially independent, in my humblest opinion.

After that, getting Master degree by 25 becomes the thing I have to prepare. Well, I know it sounds too optimistic, in fact, when I am writing this, I am still struggling with my undergraduate thesis. Yet, nothing is more powerful than a dreamer's dream. Why getting Master degree is another thing to prepare? I have two reasons of it, i) "internal" reason from my mind: I want to expand my knowledge, especially in the field I am in now, ii) "external" reason from my family: my family really supports me and wants me to have higher degree than them. My father and mother are bachelor graduates. Of course, they expect me more than what they have achieved. They say, while they still work, they want to support me financially to pay the tuition (but I hope I can get a full scholarship). 

Apart from my personal dreams, I also need to prepare myself to face adultlike relationships. Relationships here do not only mean a connection between boyfriend-girlfriend, but all relationships like friendship, with society, workplace and etc. Why do I need to prepare while I actually have had ones before I become an adult? It is because adultlike relationships are much different compared to relationships built during our childhood or teenage life. It will rarely recognize, "You can count on me, like one two three", since every adult is busier doing their own business and is less attentive to others' business if it is not that important. Therefore, I need to be prepared when a relationship I build in my adult-time wrecks like a ship sailing across the Bermuda and tell myself that everything is gonna be OK without pulling the life jacket.

It looks like a piece of cake, sarcastically but hopefully too. I hope I can do the things I have to, of course, to enter 25 that is now three years from now on. Three years are very short time to achieve those things, trust me. Will I achieve all of them? QUE SERA SERA, Whatever will be will be, the future's not ours to see.

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